God is the most harrowed person i can think of.....OUR-MAN takes blame for things he's not responsible for ...... he is made in-charge of everything...... is told to take control of situations........ answer prayers like a genie....... listens to everyday discussions about him from people who are trying to decipher him..... gets cursed for everyday affairs...... so he's definitely one hot topic of discussion.........

Knowing the un-known is man only sole motive in life.......and when he cant "know-it"...he comes to the conclusion that it just doesn't exist...... its like if he hadn't discovered gravity ...they'd say it just wouldn't exist...... its something like that with god...... so they come to the conclusion that ones supposedly a chance product of billions of chance collisions over billions of years.....And MAN thinks he's smart........

Just once wouldn't you love for someone to simply show you the evidence for God's existence? No arm-twisting. No statements of, "You just have to believe."...Does God exist? The complexity of our planet points to a deliberate Designer who not only created our universe, but sustains it today.....
Whether one accepts the existence of God or not inevitably results in two basic world views.... Either we are the product of creation by God, or our origin is purely naturalistic, based soley on stochastic chemical processes devoid of the supernatural. ..

So the first "evidence" of God's existence I would point out, is the testimony of those who even reject the existence of God....Consider two people stranded on a desert island........ One sees a footprint in the sand that doesn't belong to either of them. He then tells his friend that someone else has been there. "How do you know someone has been here?" says his friend, "Have you seen anyone else?" The man replies, "No, but I have found a footprint in the sand." His friend, being a skeptic, examines the "footprint" and says, "It could have just been made by the wind blowing the sand around." The man replied, "That's unlikely." But the skeptic said, "Well unless you show me the exact probability calculation of this not being made by the wind, I won't believe that it is a man's footprint."

Thats exactly how stupid a self proclaimed ,know-it-all scientists are....They want evidence and proof to support a theory...while in the midst of it they've forgotten the very existence of "common-sense"..........Which also is God-given,which enables them to distinguish right from wrong...ever wondered how we "know-it"??.....How murder and adultery is wrong...we knew it even before spiritual books came into being......Its called GOD GIVEN CONSCIENCE....!!!...So do respect him if not praise him for being so wonderfully generous to us....and treat him to what he truely deserves and not some guy you pray to looking at the ceiling who makes your wishes come true if you've been a "GOOD -GUY".........

I know i really went too far away from where i started....but some-how i couldn't contain myself....so GOD is so so so great that he cant contain himself to just being your Wish-master...... Cause thats not what you would define GOD to be.......He is far beyond your understanding and just should let go.....cause for somethings there is no clear conclusion.....

Everyone's been talking about SANT SINGH CHATWAL on whether he deserved the PADMA AWARD at all....SANT OR SHAITAN i dont want to debate over it.....what i'm upset about is that where lies the credibility in these awards anymore....Those who felt proud over being bestowed with this high honor ....don't feel the same anymore.........

Anupam Kher tweets about it saying.."For a long time when i used to pass d wall,where my framed PADMASHRI hangs,i had this peculiar sense of achievement.Ignore looking at it now"....on one side i was proud that these awards were given to well deserved sportsmen other than the usual cricketers eg.Mr.Bindra and the young Saina Nehwal...on the other hand i witness a mockery of the entire system.........

I suppose there are two questions that come to mind. One is, is Chatwal merely a bad businessman, or an actual “crook”?...... He’s settled his debts to the IRS ($4 million), forfeited a building he owned that had a lien on it, and the $12 million loan he didn’t pay to the Bank of New York was eventually resolved in court (Chatwal had to pay $125,000)...... The Indian banks that had accused him of bank fraud eventually dropped the case against him. Chatwal’s lawyer puts it like this:

“The man came to this country, accumulated an empire, lost it during the time of real estate [softness], and has struggled and worked to try to pay off his debts,” said A. Mitchell Greene, Chatwal’s lawyer for 25 years...... “It has been a long battle, but he has cleared up all of his obligations, and in the process he is trying to accumulate his wealth again.”

To my mind, he’s somewhere in between “failed investor” and “crook” (where “crook” admittedly isn’t so much meant as a legal term as it is a kind of moral judgment), partly because at the peak of his troubles he and his family continued to live pretty extravagantly — as if nothing were amiss....
If only one would have witnessed his son(VICKRAM CHATWAL)'S wedding would they know what does INDULGENCE ,LUXURY AND EXTRAVAGANCE really mean.......Also how can one forget his support (both monetary and physically) for the hiliary CLINTON campaign ...and him rubbing shoulders with people i can only read about in the papers or watch on television......

Lets stop the SANT-BASHING and look at it in a different perspective......He(Mr.Chatwal) has indeed provided employment to way too many can i can count...Also he does know the Elite round the globe(CLINTON ,OBAMA,TONY BLAIR ETC)........yet with all this i somehow cant convince myself into believing that what has happened is good....I some-how find our farmers who brave the cold to fill our stomachs' or those NSG's who had to fight, because our Intelligence failed far more deserving........

On this Re-public Day all i wish for is that we be proud of our country for a reason....and not cause our we just love saying it.....and really acknowledge a TRUE HERO...if ever we come across one........

HAPPY REPUBLIC DAY......

Why does India have such low divorce rate???............No its not the freaking Indian culture.......Or the suppressed nature of the Indian WOMAN......its the ART OF COMPROMISE.....
Indians learn it from the day their born........think about it.......You'd probably like to have been born in a single ,maybe AC room.......but you were born in a shared suite.......You like the pram with polka dots........but you got the one already used by your elder brother.........You wanted to go "THIS" school....but had to go to that cause your "DAD" knew the trustee.......and you had to travel those dirty filthy streets ruled by the cows.....cause you don't how it would be otherwise.........You wanted to learn photography.......but had to become a doctor ....You wanted to marry the love of your life(from another faith)...but married the no-so-good-looking housewife material.....there were no two ways to it.........
And this my friend is "COMPROMISE"...........kids in the US would sue the govt for dirty roads........or their parents for not having spared the rod........or killed to get into that college.........so when they don't get a wife that made good dinner or knew how to work the laundry......Its DIVORCE BABY!!!!........cause i don't have the time and patience for you rather i want the best......and there's just no room for compromise..........
The "CHALTA HAI" attitude is what we grow up with.......The good part is that we're far more understanding and adjusting........but that is also whats totally wrong in our programming..........we settle for lower than we deserve........i mean,we definitely deserve cleaner and safer neighborhoods .....and better infrastructure........and well behaved politicians .....and people welcoming newer ideas......And girls feeling safer at 3 a.m..........BUT NO!!!!........we shall compromise.........cause this is what the state can do for us......who am I to care???.....i rather bribe the cop for less than pay him to get a receipt.........its much easier to get my land registered in a days time with a little "UNDER THE TABLE" money.....why complain about the rape ??that guy is ready to marry my daughter after-all!!!..why make it a big issue cause they can kill me....??...I cant be wasting money over a CASE.....I'd get myself into trouble if I stood as witness....I'd rather live with that lie!!!....Its ok if he's not using a condom tonight......This is what we live with...........Since we cant expect them to.........rather we never expect..........so we change our ways and mould ourselves to their desirability.............
But when a "DESI BABU" goes phoren(foreign).....things change drastically dont they???........no littering on the streets cause of the hefty fine......and wearing your seat belts, also making sure that your passengers are wearing them as well......no trashing in the parks....and if you've not got a condom...we're not doing it tonight honey!!!!!......sensibilities change quite drastically right???...WEIRD...!!!.........
So really there's is nothing very ethical or moral or great about our low divorce rates...........Its just that we Indians love to take "crap" in its purest form!!!.....and don't really regret about it.....Its just how our coding works........and how we're pre-programmed from before we're born.........its COMPROMISE!!!!.........

"YOU LOOK LIKE A STUNNER"............"THANK YOU"*blush blush*........THANK YOU???........Dont you already know your looking good??...........Why did you put all that effort for........to look "that" certain way......Right or Wrong???.............i know i'm right......So the next time some-one compliments......its better to use the not-so modest phrase.."IKNOW THAT ALREADY".......cause all he/she did was, REMIND!!!!.....


Why do you really require assurance ???....rather RE-assurance.........People are often more worried about how they look THAN THEY LIKE TO ADMIT......But this doesn't really mean they are in "VAIN"...Vanity means having too much pride in the way you look ......But "VANITY-NO-APOLOGIES"...cliched i know......but makes so much more sense than acting like a total idiot with all the blushing and rosy cheeks.......so next time someone compliments.......be sure not to say a thank-you.......cause all your doing is thanking him for having NOTICED.........Are you really attention deficit after-all???

Don't get me wrong........I am not saying looking good is bad thing.........Its way important than my understanding at a very sub-conscience level..... The most popular people in school and college were "non-brainer-seductive-yummies".........but thats just such a stereotype....Most people think its the "not-so good-looking" that have issues.........but when was the last time you took a blonde seriously???.........All i'm saying is its just way too over-rated than where it really deserves to be.........

Pressure on the already pressurised!!!!......So, lets define attractive???....hmmm.....but doesnt that depend on perspective..???....eg-Paris wants skin and bones.......while south india says its OVER-HEALTHY(or larger surface area) all the way !!!!.....so really there's just no clear de-mark ............Thats definately some reason not to be shallow.......!!!!.....cause what you find attractive.......is loathed by the rest........So just STOP DEFINING IT....if you're(think you're) smart!!!!!.......

I'm fat......... I'm too skinny..... I'd be happy if I were taller...... shorter, had curly hair, straight hair......... a smaller nose..... bigger muscles.... longer legs............You cant change what you dont have but can definately ENHANCE WHAT YOU DO!!!.........And do it not so that some-one will notice you, but rather.....JUST FOR YOURSELF!!!!.....

Lets go a way back in time...........precisely 2nd grade.........except hindi songs we knew at the tip of our tongues .....thanks to our parents taking us to every hindi movie possible.......AQUA was the "IN" thing........pressure to follow whats "IN" started then....."Barbie Girl" and "Dr.jones" being my favourites...!!!.

By the time i reached 5th grade......the focus had turned to B.S.B aka Backstreet boys,Westlife,...maybe spice girls........you get the point.......girls loved oogling over boy-bands and guys loved the LEGS!!!.......also somewhere in between we had our favourites in britney spears and Celien Dion etc etc..........I hummed them thinking of my crush..and what we'd do when.......and the way he'd react.....even sometimes dance with him."BALL DANCE" to be precise.......

And then came HIGH SCHOOL!!!........The time where you just couldn't afford to be un-cool.........lingo's changed and so did genre's ........what was awful earlier suddenly became a norm............and i jus had to learn those lyrics!!!....RAP i meant.....Hated it...........But did it......Foul language was cool and Eminem topped the charts with his dirty business.....

And now that i'm in college(forever in college)......i desire rock.........and this i truely desire.......no pretense what-so-ever.......from Dream Theatre to Deep Purple to Van Halen..........Vintage to Modern..........everything...........



I know i bored you with what i liked when......But i somehow dont understand that when everyone pretty much goes through the same stages why does one deny that they hated these genre's when they are so NOSTALGIC..........i remember stupid crushes i had then...sometimes almost feel the same way when heard again..........all i'm concerned about is being a total hippocrate over trivial issues like these.......what are we worried about??........being judged??.and worse ,if we cant tell the truth why loathe them when you secretly still do love them.......why is it gay???.......Why does every-one wanna fit in this bad??.......Somehow difficult to get,yet everyone ,inclusive of me ,have done it.........and still do........ Difficult yet so worth it.........So......


I HEART BACK-STREET BOYS!!!!!

Tsunami's , Earthquakes , Volcanoes ....and the recent HAITI-QUAKE.......there's nothing gathering more attention than natural disaster itself........Words like global warming and GO-GREEN and RELIEF follow close behind......but really, is natural disaster that bad???
Everyone is so overwhelmed after disaster strikes, even if your not even remotely related and effected by it.......yet there's a sense of grief one thats shared beyond communities,giving them topics of discussion for days.............so in a way its maybe not all that bad........

Tragedy has a way of visiting those who can bear it least....And HAITI stands example to this......and so many others as well.......but what people dont see is how relief to this country has gathered a sense of knowing and sort of like an united goal..........this apocalyptic earth-quake may be "cruel and incomprehensible" as Barack Obama puts it, ....BUT what do you comprehend of this sense of optimism shared by ALL...........PRAYERS,CAMPAIGNS ,CANDLE-LIT MARCHES.....POSTERS.....BANNERS..........USED CLOTHES AND BLANKETS........MONEY...........FOOD...........all this effort breaking barriers makes one good soap-opera.....except that here's we're dealing with LIFE.....rather DEATH..........

Have you noticed how when one part of the world is under crisis ,everyone is so glued to the television.........or discussing it through the day........to recollect,its more like a great 3-D movie with special effect ,and us relishing a big bucket of pop-corn ..... sounds disgusting.....yet so true......denying its very existence.......human nature being excuse...........

At an Apologetic seminar i once learnt that GOD made the perfect earth possible.........So to balance it from all the harm man is doing.....DISASTER strikes......hmmm........lets analyse........its more like........when you eat out of your limits for a day.........your body balances it by inducing vomit or diarrhea ......the earth does the same ...........but just a little differently.......and with these(calamities) happening so close apart one can only say that Earth is getting TOO FULL-TOO FAST...........and before you know its EVERY-DAY!!!!!.....But you don't realize that when your sick.....your getting attention you love.......also people who hate you ,some-how show concern, if not worry........and if your dying......even your estranged enemy will come to see you........Its sort of like that will calamities...........The bigger it is.........the closer people get......just to ACCELERATE RECOVERY.......

oh my goodness lord.........why why and WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LOOK SO PERFECT!!!.......i know i'm 21.....and i know i'm too old for crushes and infatuation and all that crap.......but i just cant hold myself from doing that......even while writing this i'm drooling (literally) on your picture.......i really cant help !!!!......I'M LOVING IT......
How can i forget the first time u called MY NAME!!!........i mean my name sounds so much better off your mouth....and the first time you laughed at my joke.......(i cant crack one for nuts)...or that once when you accidently fell laughing over my shoulder while watching THAT movie....OUR MOVIE!!!......sometimes i jusT dont get it.......i act so stupid around you.....i say things i wont say otherwise......and regret!!!!....like a millions times over and over again!!!!......
Its almost impossible to be ME around you....I'M A TOTAL IDIOT!!!!....i laugh without reason(and regret)......and wish you talked to me more(and regret).....they say a crush is harmless bt mr.perfect prince charming......its totally INTOXICATING!!!!
I know for a fact that i cant have U.......wait a min....!!.......why cant i after-all??....i think "I LOOK WAAAYY!!(express high-way)BETTER THAN ALL HIS EX'S"(if thats what they'd call those lucky chosen ones who got to kiss him)......KISS HIM........**SIGH**........they look so yummy and edible(lips)......and i can practically bite them off( bad bad ,super bad girl!!!)......and that looooong neck........lets just not get there........sheesh........crushing is so unhealthy.......CANT HAVE HIM ,CANT LIVE OTHER-WISE.....okie thats a big EXAGGERATION !!!!!........but yeah.......what-ever!!!!.......
I LOOOOVE U ....AND i will until i start this over with some-one else and i'll feel totally foolish about YOU...........TILL then............. i SUPER-DOOPER HEAD -OVER HEELS CRUSH YOU....with all my naughty ideas..........MUAH...... ;)

Not always do you get what you want....A saying heard and said way too often...But little did i know that i'd learn it in a way never thought before........
As the British say .."It was raining cats ans dogs outdoors ...bt there was some sort of serene warmth within..Rather the warmth came from the smell of fresh rain over parched and thirsty soil......There's something so heavenly about rain and "moms hot pakodas" down your gut.......Black umbrellas formed a canopy in front of my house and under all this was this kid...sailing paper boats......and desire came swift!!!.......I wasn't very familiar with how to go about making one...so i asked an elder...to be precise my uncle......the one who stole my childhood without reasoning.....well, we'll come to that in a moment....as for now he obliged..BUT WITH ONE CONDITION.....a kiss.....somehow my innocence couldn't hide his intentions...and before i knew he was all over me.....taking joy in the fact that there was none to stop........NOT EVEN ME....or his conscience for that matter...!!!.....I WAS 3 THEN.....
From then on vacations at my grand-dada's place were never the same....By the time i was 10 there were 4 of them....using the same modus operandi....
They'd become a regular at home....My parents enjoyed their company...bt i dint...little did they know .....and how would they ???....i was scared....of wat???.........why was i scared of telling dada???....there's no use asking these....cause i've been through these over n over n over...for over 15 yrs...!!!......and yet i have no answers....its not as if i was told or threatened for that matter....I JUS DINT....
Somehow that young ,I dint react to these happenings.....Infact i was fond of the attention i was getting..... Sometimes i awaited their coming.....quiet eagerly though.....even to an extent that i set the bed once.........Dint know how traumatic this memory would get once understanding crept in.......as traumatic as, you scared of your own dad when your mom wasnt around.......my own bloody dad....who loved me more than the world could offer.......
I slept every night going through every moment.....every single freaking moment......tearing alone...i remember everything...rather chose to remember everything...tried blocking but all went in vain.....do you what that is for 15yrs???.....trying to figure out what wrong i did??......wasn't i supposed to be protected??.....by my dad or mom......maybe twas not their fault.......but god???.....he wasnt there???.......they say god gives just enough trouble that one can handle.........but what justifies a horrendous act on a 3 yr old......he thinks she can handle it???.........
My dreams aka nightmares were of this one girl....screaming ...rather trying to scream and somehow she's lost her vocals.......she's trying and trying and trying and guess what she's not succeeded....or this girl lying bare naked and everyone she knows is around her.......I get up to these to date.....I'm 24 now....
I knows its not my fault....i've heard it like a million times....but that somehow doesn't seem to help me.....i know i cant change but need to move on.......but how???......when i can see them living lives so joyous.....so not regretful.....with children of their own.....it'd take me moments to shatter their lives as well......shatter every dream they have of their family........why should they lead a life so peacefully while all i live with is grief and hatred...
Were they meant to happen??..Were they accidental??..Too many accidents!!!.....Were they just some bad dream that i think really happened???........What positives can i take off these???..........All i really want is 3 yr old's well deserved happiness back.....that innocence and naive sense.........that security with my own wonderful father....... my dada....