We’ve been through this topic over and over again and yet still it hasn’t turned placid.And thus I’ve concluded there isn’t a “tried and tested” recipe until you’ve “been there,done that” yourself.
Maybe I’m just a tad-bit over analytical, but ,my mind generates a “check-list” of sorts before I get undressed for business-unusual. Getting naked and the rush of all those good-hormones somehow does have the power to take the relationship to another level, and this I swear by, but it could just as well very easily stall or break the relationship.
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50 years ago, a girl I know turned 18. She was already too late to get married.Good grooms were few and far-between EVEN THEN..All she knew or thought ,was her nearing her “happily-ever-after”. Never had she seen this man let alone knowing how a penis looks like.Her only sex education was self taught ,mostly when she occasionally touched herself and orgasmed, while “keeping it down”. Her near death encounter, or so she thought , was her first period.
Now , after her wedding and her baskin in all the attention she got thorough the day, her hormones were upto mischief. She was anxious and nervous from all the giggling everyone did while sending her into this flower- laden room. She knew something was UP , not that…you get the drift right…. This man she had never seen came in, kissed her, touched her in places only she managed exploring before…Explored her in placed she dint even know existed.. and ta-da she was filled and overwhelmed with an experience like never before…That was her first encounter with a man….and damn that was some great sex…. And she wasn’t even in love….and do I even spell her regrets now??.... she did get her “happily-ever-after”, after-all…..
And that my friend is as common as a love-story gets here….. they get married…have sex and then fall in love….I’m not justifying the setup , I’m just acknowledging its very hypocritical existence…..
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The Chicken or the Egg?
For some it is love first, for some it is sex first. Assuming we are talking about romantic love and not platonic or family based love, I could not personally truly love some one, truly and deeply, without being with them on a truly deep emotional level that only sex can give. You don't truly know a person until you have been in the most intimate of situations with them. You may think you do, but you don't.Having said that , I personally always fall into the love first category. Not because of any super ability to keep thoughts and desires away but the fact that I am aware that sex without any other connection regardless of how good it may seem to outside, lacks in ways I have no desire to expose my inner self to anyone my heart has not embraced first.
When I am entered physically it means much more than that itself, my entry way.........
is to me like a way to engage my soul, my free abandon and expression, allowing the one I love a special place only seen and felt by the one I cherish and treasure. And invite to penetrate the borders, enter the whole of me and feel all that i am, all that is unseen to the world outside of the 2 of us.
The discovery made in this subject is that, the issue on what should be treasured in a relationship is relative to gender. In most cases you find that men prioritise sex and use this as a way to express their affection. In a bid to show this affection, women on the other hand prefer emotional attachment as a means to bound and love with their partners hence sex becomes secondary in nature. However, it is also clear that love and sex play a pivotal role in the fluency of any relationship.
