I hate showers...period.It takes way too much unproductive time to clean oneself up,especially the hair, the arm-pits and places i don't even want to get to.If only the environment was clean enough for me to never shower.Sometimes...Just "sometimes" not showering leads to something i wouldn't have otherwise.I stumbled on this post while postponing my appointment with hot water and scrub.It was by whom i call the Liz Gilbert(Google her) of India...Judy Balan....This thought I truly owe her..
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My morning paper has never looked this dull ....I'm not talking about Page3....I was going through the Classified...Job hunting....Yes Yes..I've joined the bandwagon.....
"We're looking for writers with good writing skills and easy adaptability with an appropriate degree and a minimum 5 years EXPERIENCE....... 3 yrs experience.... 1 yr Experience...6 months EXPERIENCE".... what happened to fresh raw talent right off the grid??... So now i need experience to prove i'm apt?? Or that I'm no mistake since I was hired before...On paper all they want to know is how long you've been in the business....The longer the duration.. The easier it is for you to land a job...And we criticize the corporate world about being shallow....Its just there everywhere.....Because even here - where raw talent is supposed to be the criteria - people are busy looking up your credentials because no one wants to take a risk.... And also because, the popular assumption is that the longer you've done something, the better you are likely to be at it. ..


But somehow,just somehow all these criteria lag behind when it comes to marriage or even a relationship for that matter......Your desirability in the market sky-rockets if you've never been in a relationship(read:never kissed and definitely no sex)...Especially if your taking the arrange marriage route...I'm not saying its wrong to be spotless and virginal...I mean BRAVO!!!...but why the need to lie if your not...We don't want to be judged and be in the eye of 'suspicion'... And if you do "MAN-UP" and find someone by yourself...you land up answering the same questions.."How many of them??"..."When did it start??".."How did you feel with them??"..."How many times did you'll sex each other up??"..."Was it good??"..."Which positions"..."Was there Oral as well??"....."Why did you break up"...And finally - Why me? Only this time, you're put through the interrogation on account of the experience as opposed to the lack thereof...

I guess its all cause you want to feel special... Saved up for "THE ONE"....and they conclude you'll sleep around with anyone you meet..And i don't want to be just "ANYONE"...But that's just one way of looking at it... The other, is extremely flattering to say the least - THE PROBABILITY THAT HAVING SEEN IT ALL, YOU PICKED ME TO SPEND FOREVER WITH... AND THAT'S GOT TO COUNT FOR SOMETHING..

Experience in relationships has got to count for something right?...Relationships are like recipes... When one doesn’t work, you have to do something differently next time...Relationships that contribute to my life in positive and healthy ways need time and energy to develop and grow, and once they are well established, continued maintenance is quite helpful and necessary. This is the stuff that Relationships are made of. Love, lust, attraction and sex.. those are the easy stuff. Those things can be developed quickly, and I suppose can be quite enjoyable on their own. If there's one thing I have learned, it is that attraction and interest, even mutual, are not scarce. What is scarce is depth, intimacy, trust, practical logistics and mutual intent to develop these things. All of which take time and consistency to develop, and do not come overnight. You don't fall in trust, for example....

I believe, and this i do whole-hearted that your present bf/husband reaps benefits of your past... And this i mean even in BED... I mean seriously, who wants someone not so "smooth"...and doesn't know how to play erotica...There's just nothing wrong in having been with many ,as long as your not a sleaze-ball or a compulsive liar...Because if you notice, breakups always leave you wanting to work on yourself ..Go shopping..Become trendy...Get a stylist...Find Nirvana..Play a sport...Lose some weight.. So it's always the next person who gets to reap the benefits of all that the ex had to endure...

So, fall in love with someone with EXPERIENCE...ask those questions if you must...DO your homework..But trust your gut...Cause they're not bringing BAGGAGE but a whole lot a lessons they've learnt..And if your wrong,you'll gain some experience yourself....

For all i know my brain could be in the midst of a tsunami....Going Up ...Sinking down... and mostly causing turmoil for ones around.... Crazy "CRAZY" stuff that its capable off....And when mixed with a dash of hormones.... OH THY RECIPE OF DISASTER!!!!!........That's almost my state of mind right now...."ALMOST"......Lets just keep it at that....
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I feel helpless around people in pain....Helpless and Guilty....Watching facial features contort and listening to the sighs and moans....Deeply aware of the huge gulf between us...I cannot penetrate their suffering...I can only watch....Whatever I attempt to say seems weak and stiff, as if I'd memorized the lines for a school play......

Pain is Gift that nobody seems to want....Ask a Leper and he'll tell you exactly why....He wishes to feel pain...and its unpleasant nature....Unpleasant enough to force him withdraw his fingers from the stove or that needle prick...Yet that very quality saves from destruction...Unless the warning signal demands response, one might not heed it....We dare not shut off the warning system without first listening to the warning.....Pain demands the attention which is crucial for recovery.....

Whenever I am tempted to curse God for pain ....I remember the thousand ways large or small,pain serves us each day,making possible normal life on this planet.....Pain cells alert us when to go to the bathroom,when to change shoes,when to blink....Without pain,we would lead lives of paranoia,defenseless against unfelt dangers....The only safe environment for a painless person is to stay in bed all day....but even that produces bedsores.......

Even more neglected,however,is the intimate connection that links pain and pleasure....The 2 sensations work together so closely they sometimes becomes almost indistinguishable....Pain is an essential component for our most satisfying experiences.....The sensors that produce feelings of sexual pleasure are the same ones that carry messages of alarm....Dissection of the erogenous zones yields an abundance of touch and pressure cells(which explains why those areas so sensitive to pain),but no cells devoted to pleasure...Nature is never so lavish....."To be dry and thirsty in a hot and dusty land --and to fell great drops of rain on your bare skin--ah,is this not happiness!! To to have an itch in your privates and finally escape from friends to a place when you can scratch...Or to wait for the party to get over just to have sex and orgasm!!!....I can give you a long list of happiness experiences,virtually every one combines pain and pleasure...

I do not mean to gloss over or discount the very real suffering in this world....Nevertheless,when something bad happens and we feel we have no control over the tragedy itself,we still have some control over our own responses....We can lash out in bitterness and anger against the unfairness of life that has deprived us of pleasure of joy...Or,we can look for good in unexpected sources,even our apparent enemies....

When something bad happens----a disagreement with my boyfriend,a painful misunderstanding with a friend,an ache of guilt over some responsibility...I have let slide--I try to view that occurrence as i would physical pain....I accept it as a signal alerting me to attend to a matter that needs change...I strive to be grateful,not for the pain itself but for the opportunity to respond,to form good out of what works bad......

If i spend my life searching for happiness through drugs,comfort and luxury, it will elude me..."happiness recedes from those who pursue her"....Happiness will come upon me unexpected as a by-product,a surprising bonus for something I have invested myself in...And,most likely,that investment will include pain...Its hard to imagine pleasure without it......

I woke up this morning to the biggest smile on my face....I attribute this mostly to my hormones and sometimes(mostly) to my oh-so-"giving" boyfriend...So with the blush and smile not showing signs of fading,i realise its times to brush....my glow in the mirror says a different story(whole other post for that)....STORY?!!!..sheesh this A.D.D is getting the better of me.....
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The idea behind this post was born thanks to Anthony Weiners fall from grace...For those who have no clue:Congressman/sexter Anthony Weiner‘s beautiful wife Huma Abedin is the latest high profile woman to be stunned to learn that her husband had a shocking sexual double life...Also with news of Arnold's "love-child" doing the rounds and how can we forget President Bill Clinton famously "did-it", denied it on national television and then capitulated publicly when then mounting evidence became overwhelming.... or our very own Shiney Ahuja??..So,Why do people(mostly men)CHEAT??..And why do women play God and "stand by their man"??....

Lets not critisize culture here....Lets maybe try and get into a CHEATERS psyche....
We all know what “it” is --- the breaking of the seventh commandment: "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery".....Cheating is more than an action—it's an attitude...Here are the ingredients that go into a cheater's psyche:

1)The more women I have, the sexier I feel.

2)Men aren't designed to be monogamous.

3)Sleeping with other women gives me breathing room in my relationship. It's like a vacation.

4)The other women don't mean anything. I don't see why my wife/gf is so upset.

5)A real man can satisfy more than one woman.

6)I do whatever I can get away with.

7)I have a right to be myself, and this is who I am.

8)It's easier to run to another woman than to face problems with my wife/gf.

9)It's my wife's/gf's fault, really. She doesn't satisfy me.

10)I am open-minded, and I can't help it if other people, including my wife/gf, aren't.

I am not saying every cheater harbors all these attitudes....No cheater does..They make it part of themselves...So,why again???.......
Let me explain(god i sound like a 70 yr old with all the experience and grey hair....P.S:i'm just 22)....Cheaters normally cheat with "less-attractive" counter...It has nothing to do with one’s look. One’s look will not deter a man who is going to cheat...Cheating for the man is about excitement, building up their ego, enjoying the chase and just plain mixing things up(i mean fluids as well)!!!..These men who are in powerful positions now, like Congressman Anthony Weiner or Arnold Schwarzenegger may still feel powerless or small inside — like how they felt growing up...These guys are still driven to prove that they are big men, and they can do that by conquering women, as well as conquering other status symbols. ...So no matter how beautiful the woman, it’s not enough.... Once they’ve conquered the woman by marrying her, the satisfaction goes away.

Now these guys may also be so impressed by their own power and celebrity that they feel “entitled” to cheat....And finally, in the case are some of these shocking cheaters, like Jesse James and perhaps Anthony Weiner — they cheat because deep down they are so insecure they can’t believe they actually “landed” the wife they have.... They can’t believe she actually loved them....So they decide like Jesse James that their wives must be faking their feelings. ..And that entitles them to cheat....

Relationships have got to be more erotically passionate...One of the reasons why i don't like calling marriage an "institute"....makes it seem like jail!!.....Adultery or Cheating somehow seems to have these erotic secrets that otherwise lack.....One needs to feel that desirability and erotic passion to hold on.....The thought of cheating irks when they lose their identity as a man/woman....Women especially cheat on grounds of these cause they become a wife/mother etc...and lose their "desirability....So when a man comes along..they regain it ,because he relates to them as someone desirable and beautiful...


So, if you have thoughts about cheating....Get from your partner what you got or you think will get from them!!!...Be absolutely brutally honest(my boyfriends seen my horns!!!)...One wants to be treasured ...One want to be "made-love" to....One wants their entire body being appreciated(even if it means hit the gym to gain that)....One wants to be complimented and returned the favour(even in bed!!)....And you'll be turned on just by a stare.....

Its been a rough day...Like really....not cause i was jabbing teeth or working with a hacksaw(could really use one on my boyfriend today)....but simple cause i was ALONE...i think its more to do with my female hormones at this time of the month...they turn me anywhere between happy and horny in a matter of seconds....and no!!!...your not happy when horny and alone....

So,in times like these i turn to my very faithful yet falsified networking sites...i'm there everywhere...from facebook...to myspace..to twitter....to et cetera ...et cetera...When I first joined Facebook in the summer of 2008, my intentions were strictly voyeuristic.... I read other people's posts, spent hours perusing photos and even "checked in on" (read: stalked) a few exes and their current significant others... It's hard to resist.... I was not, however, inclined to report on my minute-to-minute goings-on: I drank beer... I changed my bra... I took a breath...cleant dog poop...I bought see-through lingerie... It seemed like too much information to disseminate to my growing number of "friends.".....But, before long, like every other user , I got sucked in. Facebook became a part of my daily—even hourly—routine.....I called it a healthy addiction until lately i realised that it does act as a digital anti-depressant of sorts providing us with both self-affirmation and mass-voyeurism..but blurs images so deep that your so far from reality....far from a hug and a kiss...from "friends"...The reason we gravitate towards the social networking even when we are looking to be left alone is because it's no fun to be left alone, alone....

We don’t tell the truth in social networks, but this doesn’t mean we lie.... There is a whole spectrum of ‘untruths’ from selectively updating your status, through over-emphasising elements you choose (and under-emphasising others) to plain untruths (saying you enjoy reading Magical Realism, when really your favourite book is a trashy biography)..... We do this because we want to present ourselves in a way that we want others to see us. ...Online there is a real opportunity to build the personal brand, and so we are all becoming marketers – marketing ourselves....So does this actually matter? Should we all try to be truthful and accurate in social networks.... The truth is that it probably doesn’t.... Whilst social networks are being used as networks of individuals, we are all doing the same thing – we know we don’t upload all photos (probably not those from that party, for example) and so will expect others to act in the same way....Not every user is as enthusiastic and unguarded as I tend to be..... A Facebook page is a fair mirror of its creator........ My shy friends shun photographs and avoid frivolous applications, while my extroverted friends festoon their pages with gewgaws, pass along viral videos and movie quizzes, and inundate me with gifts and pokes (like taps on the shoulder) and superpokes—whimsical announcements that a friend has (virtually) serenaded you, kissed you, or trout-slapped you, and so on. Admittedly, this is inane. ...It is also, in a word, fun.....

Social networking is all of the above and more.....more since it can sink you more into depression cause you cant be anymore ignorant about the world(read:successful friends)...Its a vicious cycle you get engulfed into...and becomes part of you routine like having breakfast....Social Networking is Ironical in it’s name because it doesn’t bring people closer but creates big gaps in relationships with people who really matter the most in our life Parents and Family... Spending lumps of time sitting in front of computer screen is not going to get you friends but living with them sharing happiness and spreading the joy does that.... Facebook, Twitter etc. are good but not better......I have no right to tell you waht to do and what not to do, i can just say… as a friend that Social Networking Websites are great, Facebook is ultimate and Twitter is like your virtual world but excess of everything is bad! don’t use SNS like mad men!
I remember a time when i was playing more than 17 social games including Farmville and update my status even at 4 in the morning.......
I'm just saying get a tad bit real...whilst letting your alter ego get their bit of gratification...

Read More 5 comments | Posted by Kathy

Mirror Mirror on the Wall...Whose the failure among us all....ME!!!....Its happening again...you cant control it....slipping off your hands while tearing you apart...Not cause its effecting you.....but the people around you...Their pain you wish could be erazed.....
Your alone,technically you really are....Your hiding those tears strong behind you cause when they start there's no stopping them....flood-gates OPEN!!!...They just don't STOP!!!
STOP!!!..You wanna scream it loud....Just fucking STOOOPPPPP!!!!.......I want the steering wheel....The remote...The time machine...The escape....The Drug....THE END!!!!
The "End"...I love romancing it...The idea of no expectation...nothing to look forward to..nothing can hurt you no more...your numb...nothing worse can happen...Its finally "Happily Ever After".....
The happily ever after you've always craved for...That you NEED, DESIRE and LUST!!!...Its your ultimate orgasm....No more miss fairy-tale...No princess....No prince charming....No white gown with a long train....No kiss to seal the deal...NO...NO...NONE-EVER......
EVER wondered why i write???....Its my escape....My antidote...My Ecstasy....You cry with tears....My Pen bleeds....Its bleeds my heart...My soul...My Pain!!!....
PAIN you don't wanna tell anyone about...pain you wish you could share but cant...pain thats eating you alone...pain if shared wouldn't be judged....just a listen...A hug....Maybe try UNDERSTANDING...maybe NOT...
Understanding is difficult....I'm yet to understand life...I guess LIFE is something one cant understand...,rather one doesn't need to....
LIFE i wanna give up on you.....Stop conflicting my mind...I just wanna give up on you....I tried going parallel with you....But your ways are too dark and gloomy....Your the wicked witch of my fairy tale....WITCH....no no...rather the BITCH....
FUCKING BITCHES.....my ego...my attitude...my attributes....all bitches...I built them to protect me...not destroy ME...NOT ME!!!!....
ME??....Who am i???...Daddys little princess??...Mommys' big pain???....Sisters big hug???....The bitch of high-school???.......The humble stranger you wish you knew???...The wannabe bimbo???...The foul mouthed drama queen???....The slut you'd wish dead???....Or the PROTECTIVE friend???....
Why dint i PROTECT myself enough??....ENCLOSE myself...A cocoon so no hurt can seep in....Nothing can hurt...Actually i did....or i tried....But they always have loop-holes....They always know their way around it....They always WILL.....
WILL i be remembered???.....and for what???...The bad example you give your kids???....The one you'd wish not to be born off???....A friend to be made unknown..??....A girlfriend never to be owned??....A WHAT???....I know these answers....These answers make for a good read.....
ANSWERS for this life....answers to god....Answers to yours and mine....Just Answers....The last i'll remember is these answers....Just answers...Just answered MIRRORED............