Its been quite a manipulative week....No NO... i wasn't trapped in some scandalous mafia drama...Though i did imagine a vixen image of me,right now!!!The leather boots and trousers really do me good. A-freakin'-D.D!!!!...Never leaves me.I was on a manipulative ride ,when i realized that the campaign "INCREDIBLE-INDIA" did exactly that ,but took it to another level altogether........
Its Incredible,and how!I'm still figuring out this "INCREDIBLE" country(pun intended)..Of what i've figured out:here goes,

#1) Do not argue with the auto-drivers or the sabzi-wallahs.Not only will they stop selling/taking you,but will also see to it that others don't as well.

#2) Try avoiding day-travel....TRAFFIC!!! Also try avoid night-travel...RAPISTS,LECHERS etc...we are a very horny country,but will deny its very existence,though our population and "reported" rapes say otherwise.

#3) Chai-paani is not that...I mean which dim-wit mixes tea and water.Even my 3 yr old nephew knows it.

#4) Prefer private all the time..Fed-EX to speedpost...Vodafone to BSNL...CitiBank to SBI ,you get the drift.Dont associate yourself with the government...EVER..Its for bimbos

#5) Always bargain.Its against the Indian spirit not to.So, if your son wants a trip to Switzerland , say Himachal-pradesh ...And if he's quite the bargainer himself,upgrade to Srinagar.

#6) Make sure you know the name of your area ACP/DCP/Head-Constable.If you're busted by the cops, claim he's your maternal uncle and hope the person you name isn't the one stopping you,else God be with you.

#7) Lane driving is for wimps or ants.In India you just point your vehicle in the direction you want to go to and then keep moving into the closest open space on the road.Also a 2-lane road can accommodate 3 cars and a couple of bikes easily.A 2 lane road is a misnomer.

#8) Missed-Calls are India's life blood.Learn to use them well.From morning cabs to having landed in Indira Gandhi Terminus to a reminder for a meeting.The possibilities are endless.You could even setup a code based a code based on the number of rings....
2 rings: I'm missing you
3 rings: In a meeting,tonight we have sex...& so on.....

#9) You got to be stupid and old to "LINE UP".Here,one leverages their height,weight,body-odour or potty-mouth to get ahead and other out.We epitomize the famous line by Amitabh Bachchan "Jahan hum kade hote hai,wahin line shuru hoti hain(the line starts from where i stand)"...We just took it to another level.

#10) Women stay at home!!!Try wearing a burqa,else be ready for some free-hate-sex coming your way.

#11) Blame Pakistan for everything...From not winning a debate to your dog unable to poop..EVERYTHING can be blamed on Pakistan.
Terrorist attack: Blame Pakistan
Fake currency : Blame Pakistan
Katrina misses her period : Blame Pakistan

#12) We can BUY!!!...Everything,from minors as domestic help from Nepal to College Admissions.You can buy love and Sex,also movie DVD's before their release.

#13) We believe in self immunization.Hence contribute to filth in open gutters and make sure our dogs poop on the roads.All this bacteria/virus etc growing around our atmosphere helps us stay immune to diseases that are plagues elsewhere in the world.

#14) Like or Pretend-to like Cricket.The only thing people are interested beyond Shah-Rukh-Khan and sex is Cricket..Its multiple orgies.

#15) Use a regular horn at your own risk.We recommend getting one that scatters everyone blocking your path.If a jet plane goes 100dB,find a horn that belts 200dB.

#16) Carry a set of oars.We like adventure Sports especially during the monsoons and the government seems to get it.Overflowing-Gutter-Rafting during the rains is a popular sport.

#17) We'll even share our roads with the occasional herd of buffaloes out on a leisure trip.Live and let live.Share the space and "kindly-adjust".You reach the zoo to find some happy deers,fifteen sharing the space of 2...Even they get it.We have a PHD in adjustment.Everything is adjustable.From prices of Tomatoes to Toyotas.Government policies to ticket sale figues for the CommonWealth Games.All of it is taken with a open heart.

#18) We love our politicians.Everytime they open their mouths,its as if a fountain of knowledge has been bestowed upon us...Oh!How we love them...

#19) The great thing about power-cuts is they make sure we dont lose touch with out great Indian culture.Every summer we bring out our little portable fans and think of our ancestors who did not have access to modernism.We know our roots.It humbles us and we stay grounded.

#20) We pretend to never have sex.Only Gods can have sex and hence the KamaSutra.Free-love is just a myth and Breasts are only for babies to suck on.Also refrain from wearing anything remotely "slutty" though the SARI in itself reveals more than it can hide...

I'm writing this for almost all the wrong reasons........



If the pastor who baptized me were still alive, he’d likely say a prayer for me, and wonder where things went wrong. Not only am I still not acting "appropriate" at service, but I’ve spent my adult life(22) mucking around with some pretty sinful topics: I’ve studied one-night stands, incest, homicidal fantasies, and man’s hatred for his fellow man. Goodness, I could even publish a couple of papers suggesting that going to church may be just another mating strategy.


Most people think my M.O(modus operandi) for a great post with a lot of hits is: Pick a topic that is normally not even whispered about in polite company, and shine a big spotlight on it.And there's no denying it.

But today is different.Its about this one person who i attribute most of my life to.Its her "empowering" me to be ME, and hoping that one day i might inspire someone the way she inspired me.Its about the phenomenon OPRAH WINFREY.

Oprah Winfrey is a shining example of a strong woman bootstrapping herself, making choices, committing herself to them and moving forward. That lady stuck her flag in a particular hill a long time ago and I say, “Brava!”.For this, no doubt, I will have more scorn heaped upon me by someone, and you know what? That’s okay, too! Not fun, but okay, so long as we stay away from the bodily harm threats .........

Let me tell you an almost "cinderella" story ,about a girl.She was beautiful.The apple of her fathers eye.Had a mother who loved her to worlds end.But she had step sisters.Lots of them, in the form of sexual abusers.Who killed the person she could have been everytime,everyday.She did everything she could to "fit-in".Just as cinderella had to wash,clean and scrub to be accepted ; she kept quite about her abuse,smiled and laughed the hardest.Never showing signs,but little did she know that in the process she stopped believing in "happily ever after".Then one day there came a fairy-god-mother(oprah winfrey),who liberated her from all the guilt and shame she was carrying all these years.Who gave her the strength to stand up and speak.And told her that it wasn't her fault.She let her understand why she attracted the people she did,and why she dealt with suppressed anger all her life and why she made a "STEP-MOM" out of her MOTHER for she did not protect her.This cinderella killed her father,for he wasn't around to beat the bad guys.And for a long time kissed a lot of frogs(today's very different).

Oprah winfrey changed this cinderella's life by simply making her realise her worth,so what if she made a little moolah in the bargain.Yes, she maybe flaunts a bit too much, but every now and then she never forgets her roots. Rags to Riches. Yes, consumerism and spiritualism can co-exist. Maybe I should not put it that way and should put it this way...God wants us to be successful, have abundant lives, be happy. There's nothing sinful of becoming rich, unless you have done it against the Book of Law. She showed it. Believe and you shall receive.She made people relate to the stories she shared and never shied showing emotion.She made people no longer look for how someone is different and in what way they can change themselves so that they are loved and noticed, but for the ways in which they are the same, and what they’re here to teach . Or atleast try.

My strong reaction to anything is something to examine. (After a bit of a cooling-down period. Remember, the end of this trajectory am I not at. Thank you, Yoda.)When a person puts themselves out there to be judged some people aren’t going to like him/her. And I think that’s a good thing.

Oprah is doing her thing. I am doing my thing. You, I hope, are doing your thing.

It would be nice if we could all start with that one area of overlap and wish each other well. But no matter what, I’m done converting. Hate on Oprah—or me, if you like. From now on, I’m taking it as a sign that I’ve finally stuck my flag on a hill where it can be seen…(And for the record:Oprah is cool,in a dorky way,yet still cool)

Like the real world in the twitter realm there is an obvious struggle by tweeters to carefully define the type of twitter personality they want to become. Though it sounds rather petty and perhaps oversimplified, given a month or so each person settles in a comfortable tweet zone. As a "noob" to twitterville in order to attain a perfectly balanced timeline I suppose you would want to follow different twitter personalities in order to get a taste of what twitter is really about. If you are a seasoned twitter user then you are perhaps already aware of the kinds of users your want to follow.....

1)The Vixen- Her twitter picture/ avatar will be of her "sexiest" body parts or may include a picture of her face giving the most seductive look she could come with after many a take in her mirror pictures. She may also have a name like @MisBigBooty_69 and a twitter bio that is so provocative you feel almost guilty reading it. The vixen's tweets hardly ever contain anything edifying but is sure to give you your "money's worth" on Titty Tuesday, Thong Thursday or Twitter After Dark.

2)The Jest- Their aim is simple. "I must make you laugh!" At the expense of the readers you may witness the growth of a genuinely funny tweeter, a corny tweeter or a simply annoying tweeter. The jest may start out with original material and is then fueled to attack fellow twitter users tweets in order to get a joke and a couple new followers.

3)The Techie Geek: He or she gets excited at the prospect of a new gadget, ap, site etc. And is often ideal in getting an informed opinion about just about anything technology related.

4)News Junkies: Journalist, News hubs, lawyers etc. will occasionally post news items as soon as they happen or are published. Current affairs and informed opinions on them are to be expected.

5)The Attention seeker: He/She does just about anything to get new followers. "Accidentally" post controversial tweets and pictures. He/she may steal other person's material and post it as their own. He/she is not afraid to get into a twitter fight and ensure that she retweets all the action so her/his timeline gets front row seats for the action. There is never a dull moment with this user. But watch out the drama may become annoying after a while.

6)The "whoops I thought this was an msn group chat" Tweeter: He/she will flood your timeline with conversations that you can not follow. Not only will they mention random information. He/she may also go as far as mentioning names of persons who are not on twittter. Random tweets of "Lol" or "I can't believe Sally just said that to me" are to be expected.

7)The Lyricists: When words fail and no opinions can be formulated. This user will flood the time line with #nowplaying #nowwatching and will quote movie lines and songs constantly.

8)Promoters: This seems to be a growing breed. Everyone seems to have a person, party, song, product, fragrance or blog to promote.

9)Corporate Tweeters: All tweets will be professional and business related. However the masters of the Corporate tweeting game will ensure that they are not only interactive but utilize twitter to ensure that they increase interest in their business. They try to answer each person personally and not with an auto response feature. The TRUE master of the corporate twitter game keeps up to date with twitter trends and see how best they can promote their product without coming across as pompous.

10)The Spoofers: They create mock accounts of celebrities, famous media personalities, characters from shows. The most recent spoofer that raised a brow or two was the @BronxZoosCobra who has over 200,000 followers and whose most recent achievement included hacking "American Idol" host, Ryan Seacrest's Twitter account on April Fool's Day. Be sure to check if your celebrity's account is a verified twitter account before you click that follow button. Unless of course you are in for a few laughs and don't mind who is behind the spoof.

11)Team Follow Back: He/she will tweet but will encourage you to retweet his/her tweets or will mention a bunch of other users who are sure to follow you back. Their sole purpose it seems is to have "total twitter domination" *insert evil giggle here* hmmmm but from my observation it seems to be a competition to see how many persons they can get to follow. What do you do when you have all the twitter users though? Tweets of substance would be nice while we wait for your so called domination -_-

12)Social Tweeters: They tweet about the highlights of their day, they will comment on tv shows, new music, new products... just about anything that tickles their fancy. Highly opinionated, naturally funny and never makes desperate pleas for new followers.

13)Celebrities: My favorites in this category are: @AngelaSimmons @OfficialKimora @tyrabanks @ladygaga @rihanna @NICKIMINAJ @kanyewest @charliesheen

I for one fluctuate at varied frequencies between "Attention-Seeker", "News-Junkie" and "Social Tweeters".Though i do want to land up in the "Celebrity".No no!!;Not as a soft-porn actress(Vixen like; strappy undies et al),more as a erotic novelist winning a Booker.More my thing,and Spoofers are welcome.....

Just as much as i hate showers...I LOVE weddings!!!....and almost everything to do with them...from the dress to the flowers to the length of the train to the colour themes... JUST EVERYTHING!!!..
I've been planning mine ever since i was 10.... YES YES... 12 years of planning my "BIG DAY"...if I'm fortunate enough i might have a lot of those coming(at least 3)!!!...I get a rush going through(read:secretly going through) online catalogues for wedding gowns....Jimmy Choo's and decors...I've even planned my 7 course dinner menu!!!!....O.C.D it is!!!...Guilty as charged!!!...For all i know, I'll have 3 weddings,2 divorces,couple of baby showers(my own),70 more birthdays(if the world doesn't end in 2012),thousand odd "first-kisses"...BUT ONE DEATH!!!!...JUST FREAKING ONE!!!....Doesn't that make you think..??? JUST ONE!!!!........
So now, I'm planning my funeral party. Don't roll your eyes. It makes perfect sense...I don't know whether I'll have a wedding or even live till one...I might just be another case of "always a bridesmaid,never a bride"...A meteor might hit me tomorrow...Alien invasion(OK, i went too far)...whatever it be,I'm sure one day, i shall never wake up!!!.....So I've decided not to invest my energy in anything I can't be certain about. That's why I think planning a funeral party is the coolest, most constructive thing you can do with your time. ..
Okie,Pause and think about it(if your not convinced yet)...Will i ever get married??Don't know.Will i make babies or be alive or have eggs to make them?? Don't know.. Will i find "THE ONE" i want to make these babies with?? Where the eff are you??......Will I be a best-selling author? No clue. Will I win the Booker? Oh, God, please? Will I be alive for my next birthday? Hope so. Will I die? Sure!!!..So there. I'm just being smart and planning the one party I know I'm going to have...You might as well follow my lead, or die without a "go-away-in-style" party,as will be mine!!!......
So here are some of the things I need done and I'm leaving the job of carrying them out to anyone who's reading this.. :

#1)Venue : Ideally I'd want a castle...Something fairytale-ish...But since I'm not in Edinburgh and my chances of dying there are nearly impossible..i shall not take my chances..Don't want you'll going through all that hassle either way...So maybe a beautiful back-yard...Or garden..Any place Green and fresh...You could save on the extra flowers... And please,I beg you...NO church or HOME..or any place closed...Cant have people crowding around me and suffocating me... Place me in the centre(heart) of this open place..Done? Brilliant. Now, step back and give everyone room to breathe, please.

#2)Casket : I'm scared to death(ironically) about being buried alive...it gives me the creeps and everything that comes along with it...So please be a 100% sure I'm DEAD..I'd suggest you donate my organs etc,which will make it pretty clear(NOBLE that i am,might reach heaven after all)...Okie,So once you've made SURE I'm DEAD..I'd want a super lovely Coffin(read:a princess' bedroom like dreamy and comfortable)...Also I'd like them "Environmentally friendly" or Eco-coffins(GO GREEN IT IS)...I'd prefer one made from Ivory but wouldn't mind rose-wood or pine-wood for that matter...I also want it custom-made and not from some whole-sale dealer..a designer so to say...One should not compromise with the upholstery and padding...I want nothing less than Genuine Leather and expensive foam cushioning...And make it off-white....I need to "stand-out" after all...Remember to equip my casket with the top-of-the-line I-Phone ,and dont forget to install the latest version of Angry-Birds(just in case)...

#3)Death Care : In most cases the hospital does it after declaring me dead(please check)...But i don't trust those nuts ever...So when I'm brought back home i need a thorough shower and exfoliation..I don't want to be washed/bathed by anyone I know. ...NO husband/boyfriend(having seen it all)...No mother(please!!!...even if she makes it till then)..Instead, get a totally random person and pay them to do it. I don't want anyone I know, seeing me naked when I'm dead. It's just too weird....Use a nice smelling shower gel(preferably "imported")...Also use only LOreal shampoo and conditioner for my hair...Blow dry it giving my hair lots of volume...If I've been balding ,I'd like hair extensions to gimme that volume...I'd also like some soft curls adding texture...I need to be exfoliated with St'Ives Apricot scrub...Also keep the make minimalistic..hate looking caked!!!..but a lip gloss and fake eyelashes are a must!!!

#4)Attire : This is my favorite bit!!!...It involves years of meticulously planning my wedding gown...and hoping that's not what i wear to my funeral!!!!...I'm also highly concerned about my relatives stuffing my nostrils with cotton..Grrr. This is hugely disturbing, as I always imagined myself lying elegantly in the coffin,Sleeping beauty style....So yes..No cotton...And once I'm all cleaned and blow dried i'd like some of my Calvin Klein deodorant and LaCoaste perfume...And dress me in an elegantly drappy gown... i don't want it heavy layered or embroidered...Also, no veil or tiara.. Just because I'm wearing a wedding dress, doesn't mean I should wear the veil or tiara... I'm dead, not married...And please don't forget to make me wear the nicest pair of white,super high heeled(IMP!!!) Jimmy Choo's(which by then shall hopefully be a part of my closet)...Once the dress and shoes are in place and I'm looking lovely as ever...get my present boyfriend Mr.B(god knows who by then,...maybe even "THE ONE")to click some lovely pictures of me...he can make magic out of them...so please hunt him down!!!!

I'd like everyone dressed Las Vegas style...So, keep up with it...And nothing even remotely similar to what I'd be wearing...

#5)Flowers :I want flowers all over the place...And i mean everywhere...except hiding my shoes and dress etc...and please no wreaths,just cause they're associated with funeral that doesn't mean u aimlessly throw them around..i want all these to be placed neatly around my casket...Also,I'd like only tulips!!!..Mind u!!!..No red roses etc!!!....they're tacky!!!...they're not even romantic for crying out loud...Daisy's are also a great option,but try sticking to Tulips...Pick one colour and stick to it... This is my funeral, not botanical gardens... Also, if anyone brings garlands , feel free to beat him up...

#6)Music :During the mass i want someone at the piano..playing something soothing...but at the party its rock and roll all the way...Lets keep to slower tracks though....Also, make sure you never hand the mic to my relatives. They will sing 'Showers of Blessing' and kill me all over again. I've heard that song all my life... In school, in the family, everywhere. And now, my relatives have made it the family song. Why? "Because it's the only song everyone knows" *Eye roll* So they sing it for all occasions - weddings, birthdays, betrothals, anniversaries, golden jubilees, funerals, when somebody gets a car, job, dog, you get the drift. It's just not fair that the song haunts me at my funeral too....

#7)Food and Beverages:Since its so classy themed...I want nothing but Champagne at my funeral...So, Champagne fountain it is...I also don't want widgets standing around it or making a long queue..Remember ,ITS MY DAY!!!...Also,only appetisers shall be served esp "pigs in a blanket" and "bruschetta"..they're my favourite,I know they don't spell funeral food...But whom am i kidding??..Please refrain from indulging in some overeating!!!...Its not a wedding...And its not even free...I expect you'll to pay for it after-all...And if some drunk loser tries to "steal my thunder"..Bury him in the same grave without a party!!!..

#8)My Will: I'm hoping to be to somewhere close to being ridiculously rich by then...So most(all) should go to my children(if I'm able to make babies by then)...Also keep "HIM" away from my riches ,for all i know "HE" might land up with someone at my funeral itself...
And most importantly who inherits my SHOES!!!...If I've made it big by then i want them auctioned at the Christis ...Nothing short!!!..Else i want my daugther/sister to museum them!!!....My wardrobe can go to the poor though(Tilted Halo)...

#9)General Instructions :I know a lot of people would think I'd like to be remembered as a happy person and not want anyone crying at my funeral...Firstly,i give you all the authority to beat him up!!!..Yeah, I'm not like that. Please make sure you cry. And cry rivers.. Don't start wailing and annoying the neighbours, i want it done in style!!!...If anyone get out of control you're allowed to crack jokes ,but please refrain from "that what she said" or "In bed" kinda jokes...It should be funny stuff that I said and did or funny incidents from my life. Please keep the focus on me. It's my day. Also, I'd like speeches. ..During the party, if anyone talks about "Kathy would want us all to move on", please slap them. Kathy never said anything like that... Kathy wants you all to miss her... And bad enough for her absence to leave a gaping hole in your heart... Forever Everlasting...
And please don't make my parents lift a finger for my funeral..They've spent enough educating me and trying to keep me"SAFE"..I'd like them to sit back and enjoy the party, for once... If they tear up, please remind them that I was not a great daughter to begin with. At this point, one of my relatives will pitch in and add her 200 cents as well.... Feel free to make fun of her in any way you can - appearance, accent, grammar, weight, anything....
When the party's over, go home and write about how much you miss me on my Facebook wall. Everyday(almost)...Also not to forget twitter or any social networking site by then...I'd heard G+ is climbing in popularity charts..So keep yourself updated!!!..And finally stop gifting me Pigs and Cows on online farms and inviting me to play "Angry Birds"...Once and for all...

I hate showers...period.It takes way too much unproductive time to clean oneself up,especially the hair, the arm-pits and places i don't even want to get to.If only the environment was clean enough for me to never shower.Sometimes...Just "sometimes" not showering leads to something i wouldn't have otherwise.I stumbled on this post while postponing my appointment with hot water and scrub.It was by whom i call the Liz Gilbert(Google her) of India...Judy Balan....This thought I truly owe her..
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My morning paper has never looked this dull ....I'm not talking about Page3....I was going through the Classified...Job hunting....Yes Yes..I've joined the bandwagon.....
"We're looking for writers with good writing skills and easy adaptability with an appropriate degree and a minimum 5 years EXPERIENCE....... 3 yrs experience.... 1 yr Experience...6 months EXPERIENCE".... what happened to fresh raw talent right off the grid??... So now i need experience to prove i'm apt?? Or that I'm no mistake since I was hired before...On paper all they want to know is how long you've been in the business....The longer the duration.. The easier it is for you to land a job...And we criticize the corporate world about being shallow....Its just there everywhere.....Because even here - where raw talent is supposed to be the criteria - people are busy looking up your credentials because no one wants to take a risk.... And also because, the popular assumption is that the longer you've done something, the better you are likely to be at it. ..


But somehow,just somehow all these criteria lag behind when it comes to marriage or even a relationship for that matter......Your desirability in the market sky-rockets if you've never been in a relationship(read:never kissed and definitely no sex)...Especially if your taking the arrange marriage route...I'm not saying its wrong to be spotless and virginal...I mean BRAVO!!!...but why the need to lie if your not...We don't want to be judged and be in the eye of 'suspicion'... And if you do "MAN-UP" and find someone by yourself...you land up answering the same questions.."How many of them??"..."When did it start??".."How did you feel with them??"..."How many times did you'll sex each other up??"..."Was it good??"..."Which positions"..."Was there Oral as well??"....."Why did you break up"...And finally - Why me? Only this time, you're put through the interrogation on account of the experience as opposed to the lack thereof...

I guess its all cause you want to feel special... Saved up for "THE ONE"....and they conclude you'll sleep around with anyone you meet..And i don't want to be just "ANYONE"...But that's just one way of looking at it... The other, is extremely flattering to say the least - THE PROBABILITY THAT HAVING SEEN IT ALL, YOU PICKED ME TO SPEND FOREVER WITH... AND THAT'S GOT TO COUNT FOR SOMETHING..

Experience in relationships has got to count for something right?...Relationships are like recipes... When one doesn’t work, you have to do something differently next time...Relationships that contribute to my life in positive and healthy ways need time and energy to develop and grow, and once they are well established, continued maintenance is quite helpful and necessary. This is the stuff that Relationships are made of. Love, lust, attraction and sex.. those are the easy stuff. Those things can be developed quickly, and I suppose can be quite enjoyable on their own. If there's one thing I have learned, it is that attraction and interest, even mutual, are not scarce. What is scarce is depth, intimacy, trust, practical logistics and mutual intent to develop these things. All of which take time and consistency to develop, and do not come overnight. You don't fall in trust, for example....

I believe, and this i do whole-hearted that your present bf/husband reaps benefits of your past... And this i mean even in BED... I mean seriously, who wants someone not so "smooth"...and doesn't know how to play erotica...There's just nothing wrong in having been with many ,as long as your not a sleaze-ball or a compulsive liar...Because if you notice, breakups always leave you wanting to work on yourself ..Go shopping..Become trendy...Get a stylist...Find Nirvana..Play a sport...Lose some weight.. So it's always the next person who gets to reap the benefits of all that the ex had to endure...

So, fall in love with someone with EXPERIENCE...ask those questions if you must...DO your homework..But trust your gut...Cause they're not bringing BAGGAGE but a whole lot a lessons they've learnt..And if your wrong,you'll gain some experience yourself....

For all i know my brain could be in the midst of a tsunami....Going Up ...Sinking down... and mostly causing turmoil for ones around.... Crazy "CRAZY" stuff that its capable off....And when mixed with a dash of hormones.... OH THY RECIPE OF DISASTER!!!!!........That's almost my state of mind right now...."ALMOST"......Lets just keep it at that....
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I feel helpless around people in pain....Helpless and Guilty....Watching facial features contort and listening to the sighs and moans....Deeply aware of the huge gulf between us...I cannot penetrate their suffering...I can only watch....Whatever I attempt to say seems weak and stiff, as if I'd memorized the lines for a school play......

Pain is Gift that nobody seems to want....Ask a Leper and he'll tell you exactly why....He wishes to feel pain...and its unpleasant nature....Unpleasant enough to force him withdraw his fingers from the stove or that needle prick...Yet that very quality saves from destruction...Unless the warning signal demands response, one might not heed it....We dare not shut off the warning system without first listening to the warning.....Pain demands the attention which is crucial for recovery.....

Whenever I am tempted to curse God for pain ....I remember the thousand ways large or small,pain serves us each day,making possible normal life on this planet.....Pain cells alert us when to go to the bathroom,when to change shoes,when to blink....Without pain,we would lead lives of paranoia,defenseless against unfelt dangers....The only safe environment for a painless person is to stay in bed all day....but even that produces bedsores.......

Even more neglected,however,is the intimate connection that links pain and pleasure....The 2 sensations work together so closely they sometimes becomes almost indistinguishable....Pain is an essential component for our most satisfying experiences.....The sensors that produce feelings of sexual pleasure are the same ones that carry messages of alarm....Dissection of the erogenous zones yields an abundance of touch and pressure cells(which explains why those areas so sensitive to pain),but no cells devoted to pleasure...Nature is never so lavish....."To be dry and thirsty in a hot and dusty land --and to fell great drops of rain on your bare skin--ah,is this not happiness!! To to have an itch in your privates and finally escape from friends to a place when you can scratch...Or to wait for the party to get over just to have sex and orgasm!!!....I can give you a long list of happiness experiences,virtually every one combines pain and pleasure...

I do not mean to gloss over or discount the very real suffering in this world....Nevertheless,when something bad happens and we feel we have no control over the tragedy itself,we still have some control over our own responses....We can lash out in bitterness and anger against the unfairness of life that has deprived us of pleasure of joy...Or,we can look for good in unexpected sources,even our apparent enemies....

When something bad happens----a disagreement with my boyfriend,a painful misunderstanding with a friend,an ache of guilt over some responsibility...I have let slide--I try to view that occurrence as i would physical pain....I accept it as a signal alerting me to attend to a matter that needs change...I strive to be grateful,not for the pain itself but for the opportunity to respond,to form good out of what works bad......

If i spend my life searching for happiness through drugs,comfort and luxury, it will elude me..."happiness recedes from those who pursue her"....Happiness will come upon me unexpected as a by-product,a surprising bonus for something I have invested myself in...And,most likely,that investment will include pain...Its hard to imagine pleasure without it......

I woke up this morning to the biggest smile on my face....I attribute this mostly to my hormones and sometimes(mostly) to my oh-so-"giving" boyfriend...So with the blush and smile not showing signs of fading,i realise its times to brush....my glow in the mirror says a different story(whole other post for that)....STORY?!!!..sheesh this A.D.D is getting the better of me.....
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The idea behind this post was born thanks to Anthony Weiners fall from grace...For those who have no clue:Congressman/sexter Anthony Weiner‘s beautiful wife Huma Abedin is the latest high profile woman to be stunned to learn that her husband had a shocking sexual double life...Also with news of Arnold's "love-child" doing the rounds and how can we forget President Bill Clinton famously "did-it", denied it on national television and then capitulated publicly when then mounting evidence became overwhelming.... or our very own Shiney Ahuja??..So,Why do people(mostly men)CHEAT??..And why do women play God and "stand by their man"??....

Lets not critisize culture here....Lets maybe try and get into a CHEATERS psyche....
We all know what “it” is --- the breaking of the seventh commandment: "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery".....Cheating is more than an action—it's an attitude...Here are the ingredients that go into a cheater's psyche:

1)The more women I have, the sexier I feel.

2)Men aren't designed to be monogamous.

3)Sleeping with other women gives me breathing room in my relationship. It's like a vacation.

4)The other women don't mean anything. I don't see why my wife/gf is so upset.

5)A real man can satisfy more than one woman.

6)I do whatever I can get away with.

7)I have a right to be myself, and this is who I am.

8)It's easier to run to another woman than to face problems with my wife/gf.

9)It's my wife's/gf's fault, really. She doesn't satisfy me.

10)I am open-minded, and I can't help it if other people, including my wife/gf, aren't.

I am not saying every cheater harbors all these attitudes....No cheater does..They make it part of themselves...So,why again???.......
Let me explain(god i sound like a 70 yr old with all the experience and grey hair....P.S:i'm just 22)....Cheaters normally cheat with "less-attractive" counter...It has nothing to do with one’s look. One’s look will not deter a man who is going to cheat...Cheating for the man is about excitement, building up their ego, enjoying the chase and just plain mixing things up(i mean fluids as well)!!!..These men who are in powerful positions now, like Congressman Anthony Weiner or Arnold Schwarzenegger may still feel powerless or small inside — like how they felt growing up...These guys are still driven to prove that they are big men, and they can do that by conquering women, as well as conquering other status symbols. ...So no matter how beautiful the woman, it’s not enough.... Once they’ve conquered the woman by marrying her, the satisfaction goes away.

Now these guys may also be so impressed by their own power and celebrity that they feel “entitled” to cheat....And finally, in the case are some of these shocking cheaters, like Jesse James and perhaps Anthony Weiner — they cheat because deep down they are so insecure they can’t believe they actually “landed” the wife they have.... They can’t believe she actually loved them....So they decide like Jesse James that their wives must be faking their feelings. ..And that entitles them to cheat....

Relationships have got to be more erotically passionate...One of the reasons why i don't like calling marriage an "institute"....makes it seem like jail!!.....Adultery or Cheating somehow seems to have these erotic secrets that otherwise lack.....One needs to feel that desirability and erotic passion to hold on.....The thought of cheating irks when they lose their identity as a man/woman....Women especially cheat on grounds of these cause they become a wife/mother etc...and lose their "desirability....So when a man comes along..they regain it ,because he relates to them as someone desirable and beautiful...


So, if you have thoughts about cheating....Get from your partner what you got or you think will get from them!!!...Be absolutely brutally honest(my boyfriends seen my horns!!!)...One wants to be treasured ...One want to be "made-love" to....One wants their entire body being appreciated(even if it means hit the gym to gain that)....One wants to be complimented and returned the favour(even in bed!!)....And you'll be turned on just by a stare.....

Its been a rough day...Like really....not cause i was jabbing teeth or working with a hacksaw(could really use one on my boyfriend today)....but simple cause i was ALONE...i think its more to do with my female hormones at this time of the month...they turn me anywhere between happy and horny in a matter of seconds....and no!!!...your not happy when horny and alone....

So,in times like these i turn to my very faithful yet falsified networking sites...i'm there everywhere...from facebook...to myspace..to twitter....to et cetera ...et cetera...When I first joined Facebook in the summer of 2008, my intentions were strictly voyeuristic.... I read other people's posts, spent hours perusing photos and even "checked in on" (read: stalked) a few exes and their current significant others... It's hard to resist.... I was not, however, inclined to report on my minute-to-minute goings-on: I drank beer... I changed my bra... I took a breath...cleant dog poop...I bought see-through lingerie... It seemed like too much information to disseminate to my growing number of "friends.".....But, before long, like every other user , I got sucked in. Facebook became a part of my daily—even hourly—routine.....I called it a healthy addiction until lately i realised that it does act as a digital anti-depressant of sorts providing us with both self-affirmation and mass-voyeurism..but blurs images so deep that your so far from reality....far from a hug and a kiss...from "friends"...The reason we gravitate towards the social networking even when we are looking to be left alone is because it's no fun to be left alone, alone....

We don’t tell the truth in social networks, but this doesn’t mean we lie.... There is a whole spectrum of ‘untruths’ from selectively updating your status, through over-emphasising elements you choose (and under-emphasising others) to plain untruths (saying you enjoy reading Magical Realism, when really your favourite book is a trashy biography)..... We do this because we want to present ourselves in a way that we want others to see us. ...Online there is a real opportunity to build the personal brand, and so we are all becoming marketers – marketing ourselves....So does this actually matter? Should we all try to be truthful and accurate in social networks.... The truth is that it probably doesn’t.... Whilst social networks are being used as networks of individuals, we are all doing the same thing – we know we don’t upload all photos (probably not those from that party, for example) and so will expect others to act in the same way....Not every user is as enthusiastic and unguarded as I tend to be..... A Facebook page is a fair mirror of its creator........ My shy friends shun photographs and avoid frivolous applications, while my extroverted friends festoon their pages with gewgaws, pass along viral videos and movie quizzes, and inundate me with gifts and pokes (like taps on the shoulder) and superpokes—whimsical announcements that a friend has (virtually) serenaded you, kissed you, or trout-slapped you, and so on. Admittedly, this is inane. ...It is also, in a word, fun.....

Social networking is all of the above and more.....more since it can sink you more into depression cause you cant be anymore ignorant about the world(read:successful friends)...Its a vicious cycle you get engulfed into...and becomes part of you routine like having breakfast....Social Networking is Ironical in it’s name because it doesn’t bring people closer but creates big gaps in relationships with people who really matter the most in our life Parents and Family... Spending lumps of time sitting in front of computer screen is not going to get you friends but living with them sharing happiness and spreading the joy does that.... Facebook, Twitter etc. are good but not better......I have no right to tell you waht to do and what not to do, i can just say… as a friend that Social Networking Websites are great, Facebook is ultimate and Twitter is like your virtual world but excess of everything is bad! don’t use SNS like mad men!
I remember a time when i was playing more than 17 social games including Farmville and update my status even at 4 in the morning.......
I'm just saying get a tad bit real...whilst letting your alter ego get their bit of gratification...

Read More 5 comments | Posted by Kathy

Mirror Mirror on the Wall...Whose the failure among us all....ME!!!....Its happening again...you cant control it....slipping off your hands while tearing you apart...Not cause its effecting you.....but the people around you...Their pain you wish could be erazed.....
Your alone,technically you really are....Your hiding those tears strong behind you cause when they start there's no stopping them....flood-gates OPEN!!!...They just don't STOP!!!
STOP!!!..You wanna scream it loud....Just fucking STOOOPPPPP!!!!.......I want the steering wheel....The remote...The time machine...The escape....The Drug....THE END!!!!
The "End"...I love romancing it...The idea of no expectation...nothing to look forward to..nothing can hurt you no more...your numb...nothing worse can happen...Its finally "Happily Ever After".....
The happily ever after you've always craved for...That you NEED, DESIRE and LUST!!!...Its your ultimate orgasm....No more miss fairy-tale...No princess....No prince charming....No white gown with a long train....No kiss to seal the deal...NO...NO...NONE-EVER......
EVER wondered why i write???....Its my escape....My antidote...My Ecstasy....You cry with tears....My Pen bleeds....Its bleeds my heart...My soul...My Pain!!!....
PAIN you don't wanna tell anyone about...pain you wish you could share but cant...pain thats eating you alone...pain if shared wouldn't be judged....just a listen...A hug....Maybe try UNDERSTANDING...maybe NOT...
Understanding is difficult....I'm yet to understand life...I guess LIFE is something one cant understand...,rather one doesn't need to....
LIFE i wanna give up on you.....Stop conflicting my mind...I just wanna give up on you....I tried going parallel with you....But your ways are too dark and gloomy....Your the wicked witch of my fairy tale....WITCH....no no...rather the BITCH....
FUCKING BITCHES.....my ego...my attitude...my attributes....all bitches...I built them to protect me...not destroy ME...NOT ME!!!!....
ME??....Who am i???...Daddys little princess??...Mommys' big pain???....Sisters big hug???....The bitch of high-school???.......The humble stranger you wish you knew???...The wannabe bimbo???...The foul mouthed drama queen???....The slut you'd wish dead???....Or the PROTECTIVE friend???....
Why dint i PROTECT myself enough??....ENCLOSE myself...A cocoon so no hurt can seep in....Nothing can hurt...Actually i did....or i tried....But they always have loop-holes....They always know their way around it....They always WILL.....
WILL i be remembered???.....and for what???...The bad example you give your kids???....The one you'd wish not to be born off???....A friend to be made unknown..??....A girlfriend never to be owned??....A WHAT???....I know these answers....These answers make for a good read.....
ANSWERS for this life....answers to god....Answers to yours and mine....Just Answers....The last i'll remember is these answers....Just answers...Just answered MIRRORED............

Humans are said to be the only creature in God’s creation gifted with free will. I’m proud of this privilege, knowing I’m a child of the Divine. But as the years pass by I discovered a disturbing truth about my existence in this life. Much to my belief that I act according to my volition I was mistaken.

The starkest truth I have come upon is that I am no different from the inferior creatures living in this world. With the enlightening methods of science, man has proved itself to be largely similar to other species thriving in this world. I found myself sharing the same universal instincts common among organic forms—I seek recognition, I thrive for status, I defend my territory, I protect my space, I select a mate, I rage, I fear, I destroy. The system of survival I am nevertheless subject for compliance.

Despite these discoveries I’m stubborn to accept such insulting revelations about my real nature. Instead I run to the covers of my ego, proclaiming that I possess gifts no lower creatures have. Thankfully, with the light of science, man has regained its superiority. The ability to conjure a future, the capacity for imagination, the gift of creativity, the genius of improvised communication and the genius to do unimaginable wonders (plying god if I be allowed to use this notion of man), has all been exclusive of man.

Still, for the most part of my life, I have lived like a zombie. Unconsciously I’m living an identity completely different from myself. I’m under the spell of a strange force that guides my every action and influence all my decisions in life. Invisible strings are manipulating my thought and body; I am a slave of my mind.

From the day I was born, nature has weaved unto my being the necessary attributes to maximize the chances of my survival. My parents were my first vision of authority; home was my first source of experience. The “systems of survival” wired unto my brain has instructed me to mimic any perceived authority figures and adopt as valid all their discretions. As I emancipated, belief systems have also been hard-wired to serve as guide for my appropriate bearing.

Now that I’m halfway of my life I felt a conflict within myself; I sense something has been left behind, a little voice within me begs for liberation. It has dawned on me that I was not in control of my life. I have been living in the shells of my physical realm and not within the depths of my soul. I am a puppet of circumstances surrounding me.

In an effort to gain understanding I have ventured every school of thoughts man has established. The school of religion has always been sacred to me until I discovered its conflicting virtues. I believe in one God despite the many names man has labeled upon Him. What confused me though were the demarcations brought about by religion throughout the history of mankind; religious wars have spilled the blood of the innocent millions, all in the name of one God. I have come to believe that religion has been contaminated by the corruptible man. And so I have let go of my religion because I believe that God resides in the heart of man, not on any spiritual identifications. I need not know His name, labeling has been the means of my mind to gain understanding of things, and I resolve to not label anything that is beyond my understanding. God is love, and all He does is love.

My disappointment of religion has brought me to another school of thought: philosophy. It’s amazing how man can tap the infinite if he can liberate himself from the shackles of his preconditioned lot in life. I have gained the wisdom of awareness; I have learned more about my true inner self. Still, being of limited understanding, I cannot find the caveat I was searching for.

Finally, I seek answers in the reliable arms of Science. I was heavily convinced of its power in proving the state of all things. It has shed some light on the complex nature of the world I live in. I oftentimes referred science as the sorcery of the modern times because it has the power to create something out of a seeming nothing; and it can even interfere the natural flow of nature—science have erred in this application. Even street magicians employ the wonders science to fool their unsuspecting audience.

Unfortunately science has limitations—just as every thought systems that spawned from the minds of man—and it has made a mistake in claiming sole authority of deciphering reality. Science has enabled my appropriate use of cynicism because it served as my tool in validating questions of objectivity.

With all my efforts for enlightenment I have settled on the fact that the ultimate answer will never manifest from this existence. I came to acknowledge the limit of my own understanding. The reason for my existence is not to find meaning but rather to rediscover my true inner self. Only then will I be the embodiment of the meaning I am searching for.

My perception of life has been the creation of my mind; I respond to life according to the conditions of my past: and since I was brought up in struggle and lack, the world as I see it adopts the same. My greatest question is: why did I allow it? Why has my consequential identification took precedence over my true self? Why have I followed the scripts of my mind and the betrayed my inner self.

But burdening myself with these questions will gain me nothing. Instead I accepted what was, and with the realization of my awareness I have for the first time took the steering-wheel of my life. It was never easy; my mind has become my enemy. The more I defy the blueprints of my mind, the harder it is to maintain my sanity. The mind controls the body but the will manifests the soul, and the will is more powerful than the mind. With this wisdom I have learned not to resist my mind and enforced my will to shield the mind’s influence over my actions.

There is a very thin line between life and death. I have realized this when a long friend of mine suddenly died. It is a mystery why people take life for granted, believing it is for eternity, unless they are nudged by tragedy. Most of my life I have complained; most of my life I have dreamed; most of my life I have embraced the vices of envy, jealousy, hate, judgment, prejudice, laziness and comparison. It is unfortunate I have allowed myself to wallow on these things that have degraded my soul.

Life I discovered is about living, not complaining; it’s about learning, not resisting; it’s about accepting, not denying; it’s about discovering our divine self from our life-imposed identity. Everything in this world will unfold as it should and I have little or no influence in it. However I will rest at night knowing that I hold the choice of what will I become.